Twas the night before Doomsday, two thousand and twelve
Not a creature was worried, they'd all prepared well.
Provisions piled high in the basement with care,
In case that The Comet soon would be there.
The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,
While Visions of Catastrophe danced in their heads
And Mamma in her Kevlar, and Me with my Uzzi,
Were heading for bed with our minds feeling snoozy.
When up on the Big screen there arose such a clatter
From all the Talk show hosts, and the internet chatter
Away to my desk chair I flew like a flash,
Tore open the browser, and stared in abash.
The websites were pumping their dower doomsday stuff,
And I was tired of it all, Just about to log off
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
But his face flashed with anger, and he stomped and he seethed,
(For the world had gone wild with this Mayan prophecy)-
"Come Comet, come Earthquake, come Nostradomus
Come Famine, come Pestilence, and all that bad stuff.
These things are so awful, they horrify us,
But why, do you suppose, on the eve of Christmas?
First came old Scrooge and his Bah, Hum-Bug junk,
Now it's doom and gloom prophets spreading dank Maya Bunk!
To discourage hearts and to make folks feel drear,
They always pick Christmas, the best time of year
I don't like what they're doing, and I think it's a plot,
To bring people terror, believe it or not!
What right have they got to go spreading 'round fear?
'Tis the Birthday of Christ, Now be of good Cheer!
It's just one more trick, can't you see, don't you know?
To steal away Christmas, from right under your nose!
Those Maya's are Grinches, as plain as can be,
They want you to focus on them, and not He,
Who came to this earth as the Savior of men
And died on the cross in atonement for sin.
So don't trust the calendar of the ill-fated Maya,
Believe upon Jesus, God's promised Messiah."
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